Italian Film DVD's

Oh my god! I haven't been here for bloody ages. We've been through loads of DVD's... I won both box-sets of 'The Protectors' on ebay and it's excellent, Nyree Dawn Porter is a treat! The first episode we watched they went to a nightclub where girls were dancing in a huge cage to the music that used to introduce 'Top of The Pops'!!! Ms Porter, who's character is 'Contessa Caroline di Contini', (yeah, not at all camp) removes her strappy shoes and hangs them by the heels on the cage before joining the others for a dancing session that is beyond belief. So, so happy with that purchase...

As for the other DVD's I've bought and we've watched:

'Fearless' ('Poliziotto senza paura') directed by Stelvio Massi, 1977.
This was another Italian 'Polizia' thriller starring Maurizio Merli, but had the added bonus of having Joan Collins in the cast. She makes her appearance in a high-class nightclub, doing a striptease and even flashes her boobies. Her character is rather nauseous (pushes underage girls into prostitution), which is a shame, and it's odd how she looks older in this than she did even after Dynasty. However I really enjoyed this film, but as for the quality of the DVD, released by 'Passion Productions', it was really shitty, although I can hardly complain as I paid $1 for it!!
I'm currently going through an Italian 'crime' film phase at the moment, I love them and they pass the time until I can get my hands on other 'Gialli'...

'Redneck' ('Senza ragione') directed by Silvio Narizzano, 1973.
This starred Franco Nero and Telly Savalas with Mark Lester (the kid who played 'Oliver!') and it was totally unlike any Italian 'Crime' film I've seen before. Sometimes it was hilarious and sometimes it was really painful to watch, I don't think (actually I know) a film like this could ever get released in this politically correct day and age. Franco Nero was great as usual and looks fetching in that tiger-skin coat (reminded me of Raymond Marble from 'Pink Flamingos'), Telly Savalas was great too, playing a mad hillbilly, who shoots when people try to get away from him and as for Mark Lester, well he was just a kid with an extremely annoying voice. I loved this film and the ending totally rocked, buy it for less than a quid at any cheapo tack shop. Oh yeah, just remembered, a gay in a yellow jumper tries to pull Telly at the start of the film, he's really persistent too!

'Assassination' directed by 'Hal Brady' (Emilio Miraglia - 'Red Queen Kills 7 Times' & 'The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave') 1967.
Starring Henry Silva, this was quite a confusing film that wasn't what I was expecting at all. Maybe I was too tired, but I didn't really understand what was going on. This eurospy has double crosses and twists in it, but not enough to keep me that interested, which was a shame as I had spent a fortune getting the Japanese import DVD (part of 'The Style Of Italian Action Films' collection) which looks great. Ida Galli (Evelyn Stewart) ('Murder to the Tune of the Seven Black Notes', 'Knife of Ice', 'Case of the Scorpion's Tail' etc, etc) looks fantastic, but totally miserable throughout the entire film. There's lots of location filming in New York and a very wet and dreary looking Hamburg. Oh well, it's a nice disc to have but I don't think I'll be rushing to play it again anytime soon.

'Hitch Hike' ('Autostop rosso sangue') directed by Pasquale Festa Campanile, 1977.
This was totally brilliant and a completely different kettle of fish. Another film starring Franco Nero (must have loads of DVD's with him in now), this time he's joined by Corinne Clery (who played Ka-Laa in 'Yor, the Hunter from the Future' amongst other things!) and David 'The Last House on the Left' Hess. The latter plays an escaped nutcase criminal who thumbs a ride with the married couple Nero & Clery, little do they know what they are letting themselves in for. Nero's character is thoroughly hideous from the start, particularly towards his lovely lady, which I found odd at first, but after watching it, it kinda makes sense. Beautiful scenery everywhere, filmed somewhere in Europe and not America - but you wouldn't really know. There's a gay couple who are crooks, but they don't stay for long which is a shame. Really cool ending. Stunning picture on the DVD and a 17 minute interview/featurette with the main three characters - age has been very kind to Corinne Clery. Oh my god! as for the soundtrack, it's totally brilliant - Morricone triumphs again, must track a copy down if it's available. Will definately be watching this again...

'The Killer Must Kill Again' (L' Assassino è costretto ad uccidere ancora) directed by Luigi Cozzi 1975.
This is another great giallo starring (yet again!) George Hilton who wants out of his loveless marriage to blond Teresa Velázquez. One night he sees a guy (Antoine Saint-John) dumping a car into a river with a female body in it and decides to blackmail the him into killing his own wife. Trouble starts when the killer has the body in the boot of his car and it gets stolen by a joy-riding couple who want to visit to the beach. Cat and mouse type game ensues with the killer on a terminator style mission to get the car (and body) back...
The killer is really creepy looking and has the best cheek bones I've ever seen! There's a blond girl who's car has broken down (Femi Benussi) who looks fabulous in a bawdy sex comedy kind of way - you know as soon as you see her she'll be dropping her panties very soon. And as for the apartment where the main couple live, it's bloody brilliant - bright yellow decor and a perspex table.
Mondo Macabro has done a fantastic job on the DVD, the picture is fantastic and the special features seem endless. There's two interviews with the director, filmed I presume in his and Dario Argento's shop in Rome. Trailer, Biogs, Original opening sequence (much better, I think), poster galleries etc etc and all for about £7.00. Brilliant!

Watched the commentary track of 'Straight on Till Morning' (directed by Peter Collinson, 1972) with Rita Tushingham too, she's hilarious... that bit where she goes out and buys that hideous, hideous wig, well, I had to watch and listen to it about ten times!

Phew! Well that's all for now, although I could go on forever. We're still getting through episodes of 'Night Gallery', 'The New Avengers', 'Lost In Space' (Only two episodes of the second series left) and 'The Champions'. Bye...

'Yor, the Hunter from the Future' DVD

Wow! This was really up my street. Sadly I had to watch it in German language as that's the only version available right now - however I don't think this spoilt it, visually it was unbelievably trashy.....

Directed by Antonio Margheriti ('School Girl Killer') going under his guise of Anthony M. Dawson and produced in '83 this fun piece of celluloid nonsense starred Reb Brown who did the TV movies of 'Captain America' in the 70's.

Brown plays Yor, a dodgy-wig wearing prehistoric warrior with pants borrowed from Tarzan who gets to fight cardboard dinosaurs and saves good guys from bad guys - he also wears a special amulet, of which I don't know the significance - neither does he by the look of things. He makes his entrance during some god-awful opening music (the rest of the music was by Guido & Maurizio De Angelis). Anyway, he saves a cave girl (Ka-Laa) with a perm and make-up by killing a rubber triceratops (drinks its blood too, nice). Ka-Laa's clan is under attack from a hairy wolfman tribe who have blue paint on their limbs, luckily Ka-Laa and her father escape the attack briefly but Yor is thrown over a cliff - Wow - he survives! Ka-Laa is captured by the hairy guys, Yor shoots down a gigantic bat with an arrow then uses it to swoop down to save her! They escape through a cave, followed by the blue limbed ones but Yor manages to release a giant dam that crushes and kills most of them. Ka-Laa joins her father again and Yor sets off alone when he gets hassled by some rock dwelling people who look mummified. The Queen (?) of the rock people (who has the same amulet that he wears) makes them stop for a while until he fights them with a huge flaming sword. Big earthquake follows, Yor saves Queen, Ka-Laa finds them and looks jealous, Yor and Queen have a snog in some bushes then the girls have a bitch fight. The hairy guys appear again and another fight breaks out, Queen dies and gives Ka-Laa her amulet, Yor and Ka-Laa go to the beach after burying the Queen. A giant roar is heard and Yor goes off to rescue a cave mother and her kids from another cardboard dinosaur. Dinosaur is killed and the mother takes them to her large tribe of beach people, who show Yor a 'futuristic' rubbish-looking device in a cave. Ka-Laa's father looks at it and suddenly the tribes village is under fire from laser beams coming from an unknown source - Ooooooh. Starts to get really weird here... The device talks to Yor, village is destroyed, Yor and troupe leave on a boat, big storm erupts (model of a tiny boat cut between shots of the characters being thrown buckets of water), Yor is thrown overboard, wakes up on a shore and is being watched by someone who sounds like Darth Vadar , there's also lots of black stormtrooper like robots and a spaceship lands! Yor is captured and strapped down to some operating table, the evil leader of the robots plans to kill him but some other people who wear only white (hmmm) want to start a rebellion, save him and fight back. From here I got a little bored, there's lots of laser fights and things blowing up in a huge industrial building, luckily Yor and Ka-Laa's father learn how to use a laser gun very quickly.... Well it all ends happily, but sadly we don't get to see Yor, Ka-Laa or her father after they make their escape in a space ship.


Trivia? One of the scenes was used in a 'Kommisar X' film. I like Reb Brown too, he's a perfect 'bad' film actor, wish the 'Captain America' TV movies would get a DVD release.

As for the DVD, the picture was quite good, can't comment on the audio! Had trailers for 'The Fog', 'Tentacles', 'The Howling', 'Hells Angels On Wheels', 'Mountain Of The Cannibal God', 'Roboman' - with Reb Brown again, 'Ator 2' - Which I really want to see! and 3 others I've forgotten. Certainly can't complain, especially considering I got the DVD off ebay for 60p.

So what else?

Well, it's Friday today. Have taken the day off sick as my flu-cold has gotten worse. Put a load of things up on ebay and watched 'The Dark Crystal' that David lent me, which was fun, but I fell asleep for twenty minutes or so in the middle.

Last night I watched the cheapo DVD of 'Samson & Delilah' starring the late muscle man Antony Hamilton and Max von Sydow. It was miles better than I thought it was going to be. Great Mexican locations too, shame the soundtrack let it down a bit. Hamilton looks like a gay porn star.

A week or so ago we watched the follow up to 'Africa Express' - 'Safari Express', obviously didn't want to go too crazy with the title. It was basically the same kind of story as the first one, but with more comedy. Loved the bit where the chimp Biba gets jealous of Giuliano Gemma and Ursula Andress and plays the piano badly and then walks around on stilts! Gorgeous picture again from the Italian DVD.

Also... I got the first season of 'Rod Sterling's Night Gallery' and have only seen the pilot and the first episode, but it looks great. I've wanted it for years, mainly for the Joan Crawford segment 'Eyes' which was bloody brilliant. She was the most aged I have seen her in a role, but still managed to pull off a great performance. God! When is 'Trog' coming out on DVD?

That's it for now, I have a massive headache, so going for a lie down.

Samson and the 7 Miracles of the World DVD

Well, it's those annoying Mongols again.

Set somewhere in China the pesky Mongols plan to take over the control of an empire via killing and treachery.

Gordon Scott cuts a dash and makes his appearance rescuing a boy prince from a tiger attack (close up of wrestling with a stuffed tiger head) after pushing over a tree full of evil soldiers. He takes the boy to a vast cave full of monks, the leader of which goes to the prince's evil guardians to tell them (big fib) the boy has died, much to their secret delight. Meanwhile the boy's princess sister Lei-ling (Yoko Tani) has also escaped their clutches and is in hiding, until she gets caught and is taken to the evil empress (who is gorgeous) she is spared torture when they discover (Hmm) that she is the real princess due to her dragon tattoo. Samson stays at the cave and teaches the resistance people how to fight but on hearing of the princesses peril, leaves to rescue her. At the palace a great decapitation scene is being prepared in a giant arena, with a team of horses and supposed criminals buried up to their heads in sand - the horses are to drag huge blades over the heads taking them off rather neatly, anyway Samson steps in to save the people, holding back the horses with all his might. After this he hides out in the palace, until he meets the evil empress who helps the princess and himself to escape - she has her own plans, she also stupidly leaves a bit of her headdress in some bushes causing her to get captured by the guards and gets whipped by her former aide (she looks brilliant here!) who rubs vinegar and salt into her wounds (nice) until she confesses and tells him where the people are in hiding (monks cave). Thousands (well 50ish) of Mongol soldiers are sent to find the cave and kill the people and Samson. In the huge cave there is a tunnel that leads to a 'wise man' (no explanation given here) but it's blocked by big fallen rocks that Samson manages to push away just in time for the people to escape. Sadly the prince gets killed by one of the soldiers arrows (boo hoo). Finding the 'wise man', he tells Samson that he must ring the great bell in the palace garden to bring an end to the barbaric goings on (makes sense). The Princess asks to go back to the palace to pretend to want to marry the evil emperor Garak, thus letting Samson slip into the gardens... Once there Samson discovers the gigantic bell covered in hundreds of creeping vines, but with his strength manages to tear his way through and rings the bell, signaling the uprising. Unfortunately Samson gets knocked out and killed by the enormous bell - he gets interred into the rock face deep under the palace. Nasty scene this, if you suffer from claustrophobia, a little dwarf drags him into the hole and climbs out over his body. Meanwhile Lei-ling is thrown into the dungeon with the once evil empress. Samson is brought back to life by the 'wise man' and breaks free of his tomb causing a huge earthquake. Lei-ling marries her love interest, that I've not mentioned before, in the monks cave and Samson leaves them to "go where ever there is a fight between right or wrong"

THE END

Not that bad at all really, except I only witnessed one real miracle. The music was scored by Les Baxter, cool.